Never Stop Fighting

I am beginning to feel overwhelmed by the fact that Barrett turned two last month, but I don't think I've ever loved him more. There's this battle between his lack of communication and his ability to know exactly what he wants when he wants it, even how he wants it, and we're barely able to help him because his independence outweighs the need for support. But he needs us, and he knows he needs us. Even if it's just to look at him while he watches Frozen. The good exceeds the bad, as with any human relationship that we are willing to fight for, and this kid's never leaving our sides. 

I learned last night that he can count to 15, and that just blew my mind. Something so simple, yet something that leads to the basis of his entire future. His ability to focus is something we all need to learn from. One thing, one, can hold his attention for minutes at a time, and that is something I'm noticing the adult population does not have anymore. We're all scared for the future generations, but I'm sitting here terrified for our current surroundings that the "future generations" are just floating through with the help of our wishy-washy guidance. History shows that this fear will never subside as long as the human race exists, but I think we are becoming aware of our ability to actually do something about it. We're here to protect them, but we can also help them understand, obtain knowledge (rather than information), and actually think about where they come from. I think that's what we need to throw toward these "future minds." If we sit here in fear for the future, nothing is going to change in the present, and I think that's just silly. 

Bear, I'm rooting for you and I hope you never lose that focus. You're going to need it, buddy. Thank you for helping me notice things about my own weirdo culture, and I hope to continue to do the same for you. 

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting." -E.E. Cummings

 

 

 

 

 

There's a lot to say about the last month, but the main details revolve around the fact that December went at rapid speed. Christmas week we were rather separated, but New Year's Eve we drank champagne out of the bottle while looking over San Diego's stubby skyline. I'm finding myself drawn to traditions and creating new ones. I hope our little group continues to have Christmas eve eve eve gift exchanges and seances until we're batty. 
Our March trip is coming up, plans are made, and memories of Big Sur's shenanigans are at the front of my mind. It's hard to listen to Beach House's Bloom without thinking about the pit stops off Highway 1 on our way up the coast, and I have a feeling Lord Huron will be this year's choice for our travels toward the high desert. 
Maybe it's time to talk about the little guy for a second. Though it's obvious with the coming of age, he's changing. A lot. Happy, funny, and pouty faces are different, tantrums are arriving and disappearing a little too quick for us to get a handle on, and language is becoming a good way to have fun. I think it's funny that I attempted to document words he was beginning to say a few months ago, especially since now I can tell him to say a word, any word, and he will attempt to spit it back out. The list would include three-word sentences, so we'll just say that he's a parrot.  That's thrilling to know his brain is developing with our help. Again, it seems obvious that his surroundings impact everything being fired in his brain, but it's right in our faces, and I love that we're all a part of it. I also love that we were all a part of his first potty on his throne smack dab in the living room. We screamed with joy, he smiled, and we checked that moment off the milestone list. Still a while for the potty training to actually begin, but he knows he did something great and that's all that matters. 
I've been thinking about documentation and how obsessed our society is with really ridiculous things, and then I think about the fact that I'm right here in its trap. I am confused about the days of Myspace, and even more surprised by how quickly it ended and how quickly we moved on to other forums, but I am so grateful that I got to be a part of that strange, strange beginning to the days of telling people the bologna we think we need to tell people. So here's a mundane, "Facebook status" detail:  pie has taken over my life.